After Midnight
by Lotrfn
Summary: Set soon after Maedhros and Maglor take in the twins. Maedhros has a sleepless night and he and Maglor reflect back. Elrond and Elros make an appearance.


Maedhros buried his head under the pillow. It didn't block the sound any. He could still hear Maglor singing that song to the twins. He threw the covers off and stalked over to the window, throwing open the shutters and leaning on the sill to let the cool night air rush over his face. He could still hear it but the wind in the trees blunted the sound just a little.

This was the third night in a row that Maglor had gone to them when he heard them crying in the night. The third night in a row he had comforted them by singing that song.

Enough. His brother's voice was too strong. He could still hear it-words and melody floating into his room. He turned away from the window and moved to the door of his chambers. It was louder in the hallway. He deliberately went in the opposite direction, down the back staircase to the kitchen, abandoned at this hour of the night.

Blessed relief. He couldn't hear it anymore. He approached the dimly glowing fire and stirred it with the poker, embers sparking as the fire flared. He stared into its depths, gaze caught in the flickering red, orange and yellow flames.

So like the flames of the forge that he remembered from his youth. The burning ships at Losgar. The scorching fires in the depths of Thangorodrim. The blazing whips of the Balrogs. He shivered and stepped back from the fireplace, running his hand over his face as if to wipe the visions away.

It always came back to that, didn't it? The flames, initially mesmerizing, as they had been in his youth, in Father's company. They did not calm and center him now as they once did. Too many other conflagrations had taken over those memories and those more recent ones did nothing but agitate him and bring him to despair.

He turned away from the fire and paced through the kitchen, disturbed not only by his brother's singing now. He needed a distraction. He looked around the kitchen. Stepping into the pantry, he began pulling items out and placing them on the table. Flour. Eggs. Honey. Berries. He found a large bowl. How many times had he made these for Tyelko? Curvo? Moryo was always harder to please but Ambarussa loved anything he made for them.

He shook his head irritably. Was everything going to drag him into the past tonight?

Measure, pour, stir. He began to lose himself in the activity. Measure again. Pour. Stir. He pinned the bowl between his right hip and right forearm, briskly stirring with his left hand. The repetitive motion finally began to calm his mind.

He sat back in the chair, deliberately facing away from the fire this time, as he waited for them to bake.

That's where Maglor found him, a little while later. "I wondered where you had gone," Maglor said, walking into the kitchen. He sniffed the air with a curious expression on his face. "You've been baking?" he asked, incredulous.

Maedhros glared at his brother. "I certainly couldn't sleep with all the racket the twins were making. Then you didn't help with your singing."

"You usually like it when I sing," Maglor said, dropping into the chair next to Maedhros.

"Not when you sing that. Must you sing that song to them every time, Maglor?" Maedhros said with irritation.

Maglor met his brother's gaze. "It helps them settle down." He paused, looking at Maedhros intently. "It always did you, know. Especially with Moryo. . ."

"Stop!" Maedhros interrupted. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't remember that?" He frowned at Maglor. "You think it doesn't hurt to be reminded of that every night now, Maglor? How can you bring yourself to do it?"

Maglor sighed. "I know it helps them. It makes it hurt less knowing I am helping Elros and Elrond by singing it."

"Well, it doesn't help me. I can't look back, Maglor. I can't."

Maglor gently put his hand on Maedhros' forearm. "It wasn't all bad. There were times. . ."

Maedhros interrupted again. "Times long gone that we will never see again." He stared ahead of him, not looking at his brother. "Perhaps you can look back and see it that way but I cannot. I dare not. There is too much that will overcome me if I do," he finished.

Maglor stood up and moved next to Maedhros' chair. He knelt on the floor next to his brother, put an arm around him and rested his head on Maedhros' shoulder. Maedhros' left hand moved to find Maglor's hand and he gripped it tightly.

"We did the right thing keeping them with us, Maedhros. Like us, they have no one else," Maglor whispered.

"You did the right thing. I did not want them. I still do not want them. I am no good with children." Maedhros said.

Maglor squeezed his shoulder. "You were always the best of us with children and you know it."

"Not anymore," Maedhros replied. "I've got to check the oven," he said brusquely, shrugging off Maglor's arm and releasing his hand as he stood up.

He pulled the pan out of the oven as Maglor got up and walked over to stand next to him. He smiled up at Maedhros and gently bumped his shoulder with his own. "When was the last time you made these?" he asked.

Maedhros frowned, looking down at the tray. "I can't remember," he finally muttered.

Maglor gently bumped him again. "It was at Formenos and you know it." He looked up at Maedhros again, trying to catch his eye. "I'm not the only one looking back tonight it seems."

Maedhros waved his hand dismissively. "I needed to get away from you and that blasted song. This distracted me."

"Cooking always did, Nelyo."

"Don't call me that! You know I am not that person anymore and never will be."

Maglor put his arm around Maedhros and hugged him. "You always will be to me."

Maedhros' head dropped down and his shoulders slumped. He leaned into Maglor and rested his cheek on his younger brother's head. "And you are my Macalaurë, always." He exhaled. "I'm sorry. You know I love to hear you sing and you do it so rarely anymore. . . it was just the song, not you."

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you so," Maglor responded. "I didn't think. It was just what came to my mind the first night I heard them crying."

Maedhros ruffled Maglor's hair and permitted himself a small smile. "It was the only thing that ever got you to stop howling."

Maglor shoved him and Maedhros tilted slightly before regaining his balance and giving an unexpected laugh.

"I never howled," Maglor said stiffly.

"Oh, you were never as bad as Moryo but those lungs of yours! You were loud." Maedhros laughed again. Maglor smiled up at his brother, grateful for the swiftly shifted mood.

"So do I get to eat one of these things now?" Maglor asked, pointing to the tray on the table.

"Go ahead. Can't promise they are any good. It's been a long time since I've made them," Maedhros replied, picking up one of the muffins and eyeing it critically. "Looks all right, I suppose."

Maglor had already bitten into his. He closed his eyes. "For a minute I can imagine I'm back there, snitching one before the little ones devour them all. They taste just the same." He sat down on the bench at the table and pulled the tray to him, plucking another one up.

Maedhros sat across from him, slowly savoring the taste. "Another thing I've discovered I can do with my left hand," he said, raising an eyebrow at Maglor.

"You've just been too lazy and spoiled to cook. All this kitchen staff you have now." Maglor waved his arm around vaguely. "We were the kitchen staff, remember?"

Maedhros grimaced. "Kitchen staff, cleaning crew, child care, maintenance and repair. We did it all."

"I wouldn't complain about any of it, if we could go back," Maglor responded softly.

Maedhros didn't reply, just traced circles on the table with his left forefinger.

"Sorry," Maglor said. "I took us right back to where we didn't want to be, didn't I?"

Maedhros continued making circles. He looked up at Maglor finally. "It isn't that I don't want to be there. It's that we never can go back. It's just a memory."

They were silent, each caught up in their own thoughts when a slight noise startled them both. It came from the kitchen door. Maedhros and Maglor both looked up. Two small, dark-haired heads peeked around the edge of the door, matching grey eyes looking out curiously.

Maglor smiled. "Come on over, Elros, Elrond." He motioned them over with his hand.

The two half-elven children emerged from behind the door, barefoot and in their night clothes.

"We woke up again," said Elros.

"You weren't there," added Elrond.

"You weren't in your room either," Elros continued.

"And then we smelled something good," Elrond said, looking at the tray on the table hopefully.

"It made me hungry," said Elros.

"Well, we can't have you being hungry now, can we Maedhros?" Maglor said with a smile at the twins. He glanced at Maedhros.

Maedhros was staring at the twins with a very odd expression on his face. The twins looked at him apprehensively.

"Come. Elrond. Elros." Maglor repeated. "Maedhros couldn't sleep either so he made us some treats." Maglor pointed at the tray in front of him, kicking Maedhros' leg under the table as he did.

"Maedhros made treats?" Elrond asked curiously, with a quick, surprised look at Maedhros.

Maedhros kicked Maglor back and looked at Elrond. A smile came to his face and Maglor was gratified to see it was a real one-it made it all the way to his brother's eyes.

"I'm actually a fairly good cook, you know," Maedhros informed Elrond. "Far better than Maglor." He gave Maglor a sidelong look, then continued. "He gets distracted too easily so he usually burns everything."

Elros let out a tiny giggle as he darted a look at Maglor. Elrond's eyes grew big and he looked at Maedhros, surprised at actually being addressed by the usually grim, silent brother.

"I did not always burn everything," Maglor retorted, gratefully following Maedhros' lead.

"Actually you did." Maedhros was grinning at him now.

Maglor grinned back at him."Well, perhaps once or twice."

Maedhros laughed and both twins turned to stare at him. "Stop gaping at me," he said to them. "If you're hungry, come on over here and eat."

Elrond and Elros walked over to sit on the bench, Elros next to Maglor. Elrond, after the briefest hesitation, sat down next to Maedhros.

Maedhros pushed the tray in front of the boys. "We didn't bother using plates, so just go ahead."

The twins each grabbed a muffin and gobbled them up, crumbs liberally littering the table in front of them.

Maedhros looked across at Maglor, eyebrows raised. "Tyelko!" they both said at the same time and laughed.

Elrond reached for another. "These are good," he said, darting another quick look at Maedhros.

Maedhros gave him a gentle smile then gingerly reached out and ruffled his hair. "I'm glad you like them, child."

"I'm Elrond," Elrond stated.

"I know," Maedhros said, pushing Elrond's shoulder lightly. "You aren't the first twins I've had to deal with, I'll have you know."

Maglor put his arm around Elros' shoulder and smiled at Maedhros. It had been the right thing to take in the boys. Not only for the twins' sake he thought, as he watched his brother.


End file.
